Compliments of an incredibly stupid maneuver Friday I’ve endured some sort of muscle spasm in my back for the past couple days. Not a comfortable situation, but (with the aid of modern science) one that can be managed …
… at least, I think it can be managed. Modern medicine’s a truly wonderful thing. But, when you cross it with the “wizardry” of modern marketing … and throw in a dash of “truth in advertising”, you get some wonderfully puzzling situations.
Take my back, for instance. My first thought was to anesthesize the problem, and I immediately thought of Doane’s Pills (since I remembered an advertisement proclaiming them a back-pain solution). A quick (but calculated) trip (making sure not to move in unplanned or uncomfortable ways) to the local store and I was home with a box. After following the recommended dosage, I was feeling considerably better (given the appropriate time for the pills to dissolve and disperse their active ingredient through my blood stream).
Don’t ask my why I went back to look at the box … maybe it was out of awe at the power of a couple small, white tablets over my thoracic musculature … I honestly have no idea … but it least to my current puzzlement.
First off, let’s take a look at the box itself:
… except, if you focus in on the paragraph immediately below that claim:
you’ll find that, according to the manufacturer, Doane’s isn’t any more effective (against back pain) than regular aspirin, ibuprofen, or a ball-peen hammer behind the right ear (that’s another story … for now, let’s just call it “folk medicine”).
Now, I know that, compliments of the disclaimer, everything is “legally” fine … but I gotta wonder about a society that permits both the claim and the counter-claim discounting it to be part of the same advertisement.
Then again … we pull the same stuff in the vitamin suppliment industry.